Are you the Biggest Loser?

Damn these shows! You would think that watching this show would motivate me to begin my own weight loss, yet here I sit munching on Doritos nacho chips!!

Jeffrey and I are getting married in 7 months & 21 days from today, I dread trying on the wedding dress I have picked out! My dress is perfect and everything I wanted in a dress, lets be honest.. I hate dresses! Strange thing is I look forward to wearing this dress, I know its a bizarre statement but its true. I have set a goal of losing 40 pounds before our wedding, 40 pounds in 7 months? Is that possible?!! Eating a fatty bag of nachos is NOT the way to lose these 40 pounds!!!

I pay $32.00 a month for a gym membership that I don't even use, but I tell myself every week that this is the week I will start going after work. Most know that I have always had a love for both basketball and volleyball, fear has taking those two passions away. Fear of re-injuring my knee and going through the same heartache that I did when I was 16 years old. These sports are what kept me in shape in my teenage years, not only did they keep me in shape but kept me from getting in trouble in school as well. Deep down I miss the rush being on either court with my mind focused and heart in the game. I want that feeling back soo bad, what stops me from following through on it? Fear.. and fear itself is what stops me!

I often wonder where did all the weight gain come from, how did it all happen? I went from being 135-140 pounds to my current weight of 192 pounds. 192 pounds disgusts me.. I hate that number with a passion!! Stress has a huge part to play in the weight gain, I have come to see that when I am stressed I eat.. when I am bored.. I eat.. I stress at the mention of money or debt, I don't have much of either but I do work hard for what I have. I have learned to control the stress I do have but its much harder than I thought. Each person has an outlet that helps them relieve stress.. Mine should not be food but instead basketball.

- Goals for the months ahead -

Face the fear head on.
Lose 40 pounds.
Change my outlet to what really works for me.

Please pray and send encouraging thoughts my way, if you have any food tips or fitness routines then pass those along too.

Until the end of time,
Jennifer.